


Books and Scramble (Will’s Entry #14) & Gallery of Murders (Will’s Entry #15)

by WillGrahamJournals



Series: Will Graham's Journal and File Archives - BSHCI [15]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Between Seasons/Series, Diary/Journal, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 23:02:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12022908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillGrahamJournals/pseuds/WillGrahamJournals
Summary: Will gets small comforts.Will tries to distract himself with the "A Friend" case and fan letter.





	Books and Scramble (Will’s Entry #14) & Gallery of Murders (Will’s Entry #15)

**Books and Scramble (Will’s Entry #14)**

Meeting with Brauer this evening. They’ve delivered books, the ones I requested and some from my personal library. Several photographs from home, too. I’ve also been given a softer blanket.

Breakfast was exceptionally flavorful. Sausage scramble. I took one bite in spite of my hunger. I hated what it left me craving. I hate that I still have that memory. 

Barney made no comment when he found me using only a blanket as clothing yesterday. He just took the dirty clothes and replaced a freshly pressed set. Something was different with them. The scent was more “normal.” Not the faint hospital bleach, but of artificial something or other. I can picture the label: Spring Breeze or Mountain Air.

Somebody is doling out their mea culpas or I’m at the brink of another storm.

My body is still aching and my head is a lead balloon, but my ability to escape into my mind is more immediate. It is both encouraging and frightening. I hope I can maintain control.

The eggs smell too good. I guess I’ll finish them up anyways. One step closer to maintaining control.

-Will Graham, journal entry #14

 

* * *

**Gallery of Murders (Will’s Entry #15)**

I find myself wishing I were as unfeeling as some of the psychopaths I hunted.

This “A Friend” case that everyone mentions but fails to fill me in on is germinating a steadily expanding guilt. I hear Dr. Lecter’s voice behind me, bouncing off the walls of his office.

__One life or many, Will. What would you rather be responsible for?_ _

Even though I know he meant something more in his control, it still rings true to my absence in the field. Regardless of how much it destroyed me in the end.

I still haven’t reported the fan letter anywhere but here. It might not even be genuine. Just a disturbed “fan,” needing to reach out, make their existence known. Sometimes that’s all anybody needs.

Georgia Madchen. She needed to know she was alive. I helped her see. And she helped me see. I expected us to have a long friendship. Expectations.

Shock therapy. It would have made her better. Cosmic justice is making me suffer from it. I couldn’t save her. Arnold Friend is nothing like Georgia. Even the one letter was damp with his fevered mind. Callous. Sinister. Infectious.

Another psychopath looking for a friend. A Friend.

I know what I’m doing is dangerous. The Joyce Carol Oates story sits in three copies of different books. I’ve yet to pick one up and read. I’m putting myself in another killer’s mind if I do, even if I just read the first sentence.

It is a distraction, but I am drawn to it. I’m afraid of the unseen horrors that plague the living on the other side. My walls are painted nightly with the numerous ways I’ve seen people killed. Dismembered. Burned. Dissolved. Buried alive. My cell is a gallery of murders. In the muddle, Arnold Friend touches everything. I can’t see his face, so every victim I couldn’t save plagues me until I do something about it. The bodies pile up and barricade me. A fort made out of the dead. I can’t see beyond it.

It is 5:00 PM. I’m in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.

-Will Graham, journal entry #15

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published at willgrahamjournals (Tumblr), September 3, 2013.
> 
> "A Friend" is a non-canonical case written in to have Will attempting to solve cases while locked up, which would eventually occur during the first half of season 2.


End file.
